One of my coaching clients shared a great example with me about how he views how we are so easily influenced by external factors, forces, and people. It was brilliant and I shared with him that I would share it with you.
The concept is not to let people, particularly difficult people you deal with, lease space in your head. If you hear the voice of someone and you think to yourself, well that hurt, then you’ve just let them take out a potential rental agreement on your brain space. If you then focus on it, dwell on it, stew over it and maybe even act on it internally or externally, without much conscious intervention of your OWN voice…well… then you’ve just signed that rental agreement and nearly turned it into a long term lease. The key is acting consciously and only allowing tenants to reside in your brain that you are okay with being there. So someone said something hurtful, okay. Are you really that kind of person? Did you maybe do something that wasn’t so bright? Okay, so forgive yourself, commit to do better next time and move ahead. If you stay stuck in the repetitious cycle of repeating their…um… words of wisdom or utter words of your back in a heated moment of reaction, then you are signing over that space in your brain, for what could be permanent time.
We don’t use our whole brain as it is. Why would you want someone else’s voice to occupy any part of that which we do use. Take their feedback, consciously choose to act on what feels right, and go in the direction of what you know to be true for you. That doesn’t mean don’t listen to others or take their advice or feedback to heart at times, but don’t give them a proverbial agreement that says you’ll always listen to and do what they say. Make sense?
Is it time for you to contagiously clean your “house” out and get rid of some voices? Hmmmm…
Monica Wofford, MBA, CSP, is an international speaker, trainer, and author who helps managers who were promoted, actually become prepared to lead.