Have you ever found yourself complaining about all the things that are not going your way or not the way you want them? Maybe they are that way because, in fact, you said so. It’s an interesting concept and in point of fact, in all that I read in my own personal and professional leadership development, almost everything points to the fact that we are our own biggest barrier. It’s almost as if we have a series of caution, stop, or take notice signs in our heads!
I think you get that, but what does it mean and even more importantly, what do we do about it?
Here’s What it Means:
There are three things that we cling to that keep us from succeeding in the ways we want most.
We LOVE excuses and whether it’s I can’t afford it, I am not good enough for it, or I’m too old, or even, No one will help me, those excuses can rule your life if you let them. What excuses are you using not to do, be, have, or feel exactly how you want?
If you hold onto those excuses long enough, the mere use of them becomes a habit. So, if the excuse is “I’m not good enough” and you say that outloud long enough, you get confirmation in a way and you become convinced habitually that in fact, that statement might actually be true. Rubbish!
What actions are you unwilling to take to achieve your desires? Are you afraid to do something scary? Are you afraid to ask for help? You are responsible for your own actions and so many have done what others told them they couldn’t, to the point that it seems anything might be possible for anyone. What are you DOING to make your desires a reality?
Here’s What You Can Do:
Ask yourself “Is it True?”
Maybe what you believe is nothing more than a habit that has become real for you, but is not as big a barrier as you think.
Find a new habit that feels good and makes sense
Habits create literal grooves in your brain and one of the most effective ways to overcome that phsyiological pattern is to create a new groove, both literally and figuratively. What new habit can you form so that your actions follow that new groove?
Make a list of what you are unwilling to do to achieve your goal
Once you make your list, see if you can shorten the list by changing what you are willing to do. For example, I’ve always wanted to be on TV and even went to college to be a broadcaster, but have for so long told myself I’m too old or I don’t have enough experience, that I’ve started to believe that. Eek! I guess I have some of my own work to do. Hehe! Anyone know a talk show looking for a host?
Monica Wofford, MBA, CSP, is an international speaker, trainer, and author who helps managers who were promoted, actually become prepared to lead.